Peter Wood

Where do I start? Well, the beginning is the most obvious answer to that, except in my world the start has happened almost at the end. I am sitting here in a hospice, typing this while my husband sleeps. As he is sleeping, the beginning is starting to replay itself. As I sit and wait for him to wake up, half of me thinks he should not wake up, that would be kinder on him; but the other half of me, the selfish half, wants him to wake up, to come home, and sit with me in the living room, watch the television, and do the usual stuff that married couples do, maybe disagree about something that is totally irrelevant, and then make up.

Most people would be phased by an illness like Peter suffered, but he bore it with bravery and most of all dignity. We were best friends when we met, and we remained best friends, and he will always be my best friend. We argued like friends do, but always made up. I remember my Gran telling me never to go to bed on an argument, and as we argued a lot, there was always a lot of making up to do! Now when I look back on those arguments, I realise how silly they were, how out of context and how trivial they were in the grand scheme of things, especially now as I watch him sleeping.

The cancer brought us closer together. Some couples split up because they cannot cope with illness and the stress it causes; however, in our case it drew us closer together. But that is all irrelevant now as I realise my rock, the person who always stood by me, the one person who I told everything to and shared everything with, is about to die. Every hour I kiss him and tell him I love him, he knows I’m here but he is so sleepy now; every time he wakes he has to sleep longer to the recoup the energy he’s used.

He manages a little smile for me, when for the last time I kiss him and I tell him I love him. I tell him what a good husband and father he is, and that I am so grateful for the two wonderful children he gave me.

Sleep well my lovely, I will always love you.

Page Last Modified On: 19th April 2008