Warm!
Sunday 02nd November, 2008
I am sitting in my cottage, in front of a real log fire (well, wood burning stove actually!). It is a Clearview Pioneer 400 and I got it from Robeys in Belper, Derbyshire. I am very grateful to my family for fitting the stove and tiles, they have been very good to me and helped me such a lot.
The cottage is nearly ready for furniture and I am going to book a removal van sometime before Christmas! At the moment the cottage needs a good clean from top to bottom!
We had a lovely Halloween. My son and his girlfriend, and friend, came to stay. They dressed up and the costumes were brilliant!
COLD!
Tuesday 28th October, 2008
Brrr…freezing! I’m being a wimp I know, but it’s soooo bloomin’ COLD! This morning was beautiful with frost, not a big frost, but enough to make the village look so pretty. It gets quite cold up here, so I am waiting to get out my camera and take some pictures of the village when it is very frosty or misty. I love taking pictures like this.
I’m going to the thermal underwear shop and also to the cosy slippers shop to get supplies to insulate myself against the cold!
Oh and a big THANK YOU for the kind person who donated £100 to Peter’s JustGiving account. THANK YOU!
New House
Saturday 25th October, 2008
I am in my new house - well, cottage acutally! It is lovely, and it has been newly decorated and looks so clean, until the dogs trash it! It is so peaceful here and I am sure Peter would have loved it to bits. I miss him so much, and although I get through the days well enough, I find the nights are the longest and loneliest of times.
Dylan and Archie have settled in well, and we have begun exploring the surrounding countryside. It is so beautiful here. The village is wonderful and I have some lovely neighbours. I am going to try and join in some of the activities here as I fear I am becoming a hermit who is often in bed by 8pm!
It is a tradition in some Derbyshire villages to make scarecrows, usually around festival times such as summer carnivals, Halloween, Bonfire Nights, etc. I decided to join in with this tradition and I made a witch to sit outside my cottage! I will post a picture when I have unpacked the photography equipment!
It will be nice here this Christmas as the village is festively decorated with lights and trees. I am going to have a tree outside the house, but I am not decorating the inside of my cottage as I don’t really want to celebrate Christmas this year - it will be the first Christmas without my Peter. I shall put up cards, but the other stuff shall remained packed.
It has been six months since I lost Peter. I cannot believe how time flies. At the beginning of October I was really poorly with my depression and seemed to be grieving more. Like I said, the days are okay, but the nights are so long. I have been sick with worry about day to day stuff and sometimes found myself on the settee and not going to bed to sleep, but cuddled up with the dogs. It was comforting just to feel the warmth of Dylan’s body and his companionship so readily given. Dylan is such a good dog.
One thing that has annoyed me is my panic over silly things. I was in B&Q buying paint for the cottage when I started to worry about the breadmaker. I had left it on to bake bread and had to rush home to check everything was all right because I had convinced myself the cottage was going to burn down and the dogs would die a horrible death. It’s a wonder I didn’t crash the car in my rush to get home!
Silly, but that is the problem I have. These past few weeks have been better and now I am feeling more settled albeit a little lost - which is only expected when moving home. It’s nice to have my family around me, and they have all been so supportive. Thanks guys!
Reflective Inspiration
Thursday 11th September, 2008
Going to have a new section where you can send in your posts, poems, works of art, expressions, photographs, and other stuff relating to mesothelioma. It is going to be called Reflective Inspiration. So please feel free to email me with your creative stuff and I will showcase it here!
Birthday!
Wednesday 10th September, 2008
I have just had a lovely birthday, made special by my children, family and friends! It was my first birthday without Peter, and I felt so lost without him. He always spoilt me on my birthday and made me feel so special. I miss him, his companionship and his thoroughly awful jokes! It is amazing how time has trundled on in it’s own interminable way.
Time is not a healer - you just get used a situation. I am realising that Peter is not away on business, or out fishing, or even upstairs asleep. He is not coming back to me, and although it has only been five months since he had to go away, I now know that he is not coming back in the physical sense. I pray every day that he is with me spiritually, willing me to carry on, sending me ideas, and generally keeping an eye on me. I am sure he is instrumental in finding me somewhere to live for the rest of my days - I will write about my new venture later as I cannot believe what I have done and want to sit and ponder awhile before I write about it!
So, back to the birthday. We had a lovely meal at a pub. We all decided to have steak - cooked on volcanic rock at your table - fantastic fun (… dearest daughter next time DO NOT attempt to put your finger on the rock!). I had lovely presents. I had some money donated to The June Hancock Mesothelioma Trust instead of a birthday present so I was extremely chuffed about that as it is for such a good cause and every penny counts. Thank you everybody who made my birthday a good ‘un!
Rain Rain Rain
Saturday 06th September, 2008
What is happening to our weather? It’s raining again. I’m turning rusty. Help!
Dylan and Archie are sick of getting wet, and quite frankly I’m sick of the stink of wet dog!
Blogging when I should be packing!
Thursday 31st July, 2008
Here I am, on the computer when I should be packing. In fact, I have a house to pack, as well as a suitcase! The washing is not done, but hey ho, there is always the tumble drier!
I am going to have a little rant at idiot drivers. I do not class myself as an idiot driver as I try and be careful and considerate to other drivers, especially when driving a 20ft motorhome. Also, I have my insurance premium to think about, and I don’t want a speeding ticket. Driving a vehicle that is larger than your average family saloon has taught me some valuable etiquette on the roads, sadly lacking in a lot of drivers I come across.
I am fed up with arrogant, aggressive drivers, who drive as if they are playing on a games console. I know some of these drivers often sadly get a wake up call in the way of a bad accident, but I wonder if they ever consider the damage they wreak not only to themselves, but to other innocent families?
On the A38 last night, it was full of idiots. I was driving my Ford Zetec 1.8 TDci. It was not as if I was being a “Sunday driver”. The idiots seemed to think that driving at 80-90 miles per hour is the norm, getting so close up my back end that I could almost feel them breathing down my neck. I was driving at 70mph - the speed limit on that particular road. Also, there are unmarked police cars down that stretch and I certainly did not want to get pulled.
The other day, I was so damn angry, when a bald driver in Repton made me pull over and promptly gave me a one fingered salute just because I let him overtake me! That was gratitude for you! I would add that I had reached speeds of 60mph on poor country lanes - so he can hardly accuse me of going too slow! Bald Chav! At least I can lose weight if I choose to - he cannot grow his hair back! Insults to him because he gave me the one fingered salute!
So why is it that these people are so inconsiderate - tantamount to bullying? Are they naturally aggressive, or is it because they’ve had a crap day at work and are passive aggressive, so take it out on poor non offensive, considerate drivers - like me?
I may have a sign made to display in my back window “If you can read this you are TOO FUCKING CLOSE” or “Gerrorf my back end, we haven’t been introduced…” or “Slow down you stupid twat” or “What the fuck do you think you’re doing getting so close you can read this sign?” or something like that! Answers on a post card.
Rant over!
Still Busy Busy Busy…
Tuesday 29th July, 2008
OK, this is why…I have decided to buy a new house! Yes, a new beginning. I shall be taking my beloved Peter to a new, peaceful, retreat. The children have decided to fly the nest and so it’s time for new beginnings. It all happened in a rush and to be quite honest I was not looking to move, but one surf on the Internet led to another, and I found a house that I could see myself living in for the rest of my days - something that has not happened to me before. I am sure Peter is orchestrating events so Peter, thank you my darling, you have made the perfect choice! X X X
Busy, busy, busy!
Saturday 19th July, 2008
I have been busy these past few weeks, and have not really made time to blog.
First of all I went to see my Aunt, she lives by the sea in Mid-Wales, and we all had a smashing time. It was so good to see her again and Archie was completely at home on his old stomping ground!
I have found a nice cottage near the Peak District, and have made an offer subject to survey. Peter would have loved the cottage and I am so sorry and upset that he is not here to share it with me.
I have seen my new baby nephew - he is adorable - just like his brother!
I’ve been on holiday to Norfolk which was very relaxing and full of fun!
Dylan loved being beside the seaside, and at every opportunity he ran off to jump in the sea and get covered in sand! Archie was not too fussed about getting wet, but loved to run like a mad thing on the beach - getting covered in sand in the process! The dogs are so tired at the moment!
Positive and Negative
Thursday 03rd July, 2008
Hello…back again…I’ve been away from the computer for a while and I’m going to blame Big Brother, but I’m back now! I’ve been to Whitby for a few days with friends - it was brilliant, but their tent got wrecked in the high winds. However, apart from the weather I had a lovely time and Dylan quite enjoyed himself as well. I’ve got some pictures on my camera and will upload them soon.
In a nutshell: still depressed…which I am thoroughly fed up with, the dogs are well and behaving nicely, my house is a bomb-site, my garden is messy, I moan too much!
<phone rings as I’m typing>
Oh! STOP PRESS! I have another nephew born TODAY! The day before Peter’s birthday! Welcome to my little nephew!
